Giving and Receiving

🎁 The Gift Exchange: Japanese Giving & Receiving Verbs

Imagine you’re at a party where everyone is passing presents around. But here’s the twist: in Japanese, HOW you describe passing that present depends on WHO is giving and WHO is receiving!

🌟 The Big Picture

Think of Japanese giving/receiving like a gift-passing game with three simple rules:

1. Who gives? (me, you, or someone else)
2. Who receives? (me, you, or someone else)
3. Am I grateful for the action?

Japanese has special verbs that capture ALL of this in one word!

📦 The Three Gift Verbs

Before we add actions, let’s meet the basic giving/receiving verbs:

🤔 Wait, morau and kureru both mean I get something?

Yes! But the focus is different:

• もらう (morau): “I received” — YOU are the star
• くれる (kureru): “They gave me” — THEY are the star

Example:

• 友達がケーキをくれた = My friend gave me cake (focus: friend’s kindness)
• 友達からケーキをもらった = I received cake from my friend (focus: me receiving)

✨ The Magic of て-Form + Giving Verbs

Now here’s where it gets exciting! When someone does an action as a favor, we combine:

[Verb て-form] + [giving verb]

This creates benefactive verbs — verbs that show someone did something AS A FAVOR.

🎀 て-あげる (te-ageru): “I Do FOR You”

Pattern: [action て-form] + あげる

Use when: I/we do something as a favor for someone else

Think of it as: “I’m giving you the gift of my action!”

Examples

🎯 Key Point

The receiver feels like they got a present — your help!

⚠️ Be Careful!

Don’t use てあげる with superiors (boss, teacher) — it can sound condescending, like “I did YOU a favor.”

graph TD
    A["私 Me"] -->|Action as gift| B["他の人 Others"]
    A -->|てあげる| B
    style A fill:#FFB6C1
    style B fill:#98FB98

🙏 て-もらう (te-morau): “I Receive the Favor”

Pattern: [action て-form] + もらう

Use when: Someone does something for ME, and I appreciate it

Think of it as: “I received the gift of their action!”

Examples

🎯 Key Point

YOU are the focus. You actively received someone’s help.

Grammar Note

The person doing the favor is marked with に (ni):

• [Person]に + [action]てもらう

graph TD
    A["他の人 Others"] -->|Action as gift| B["私 Me"]
    B -->|てもらう I receive| B
    style A fill:#98FB98
    style B fill:#FFB6C1

💝 て-くれる (te-kureru): “You Do FOR Me”

Pattern: [action て-form] + くれる

Use when: Someone does something for ME, and I’m grateful for THEIR kindness

Think of it as: “They gave me the gift of their action!”

Examples

🎯 Key Point

The GIVER is the focus. You’re highlighting their kindness!

てもらう vs てくれる

graph TD
    A["他の人 Others"] -->|Action as gift| B["私 Me"]
    A -->|てくれる They give| B
    style A fill:#98FB98
    style B fill:#FFB6C1

🎮 The Complete Picture

graph LR
    subgraph Giving Actions
    A1["私 Me"] -->|てあげる| B1["他の人 Others"]
    end
    subgraph Receiving Actions
    A2["他の人 Others"] -->|てくれる| B2["私 Me"]
    A3["他の人 Others"] -.->|てもらう| B3["私 Me"]
    end

🎪 Real-Life Story

Scene: Kenji is lost in Tokyo

1. A stranger helps him:

   • 知らない人が道を教えてくれた
   • “A stranger told me the way” (grateful for THEIR kindness)

2. Kenji asks a police officer:

   • 警察官に地図を見せてもらった
   • “I had the officer show me a map” (I received the help)

3. Kenji later helps a tourist:

   • 観光客に駅の場所を教えてあげた
   • “I told the tourist where the station is” (I gave my help)

🔑 Quick Summary

💡 Memory Trick

Think of gift arrows:

• あげる = Arrow goes away from me (A for Away)
• もらう = Arrow comes to me (M for Me)
• くれる = Arrow comes to me too (K for Kindness they showed)

The difference between もらう and くれる?

• もらう = I’m holding the gift, looking at it
• くれる = I’m watching them hand it to me with a smile

🎁 You Did It!

Now you understand the beautiful Japanese way of expressing favors and kindness through giving and receiving verbs. Every time you use these, you’re not just speaking Japanese — you’re showing that you understand the Japanese heart of gratitude!

Next step: Practice making sentences about favors you give and receive in daily life!